1965, VIAȚA NOUĂ Santa Claus officiates a wedding in an elevator
Santa Claus will officiate a wedding in the elevator of a large department store in Riverside (California). The groom, Robert McClue, works on maintaining the elevator, and the bride, Lea Bonham, is an elevator operator.
As for Santa Claus, “in civilian life,” he is a registrar. Every year, however, during the holidays he dresses up, turning into a friendly confidant of children.
Being too busy, he will officiate the wedding in the traditional costume with a red cloak and cotton beard. Then he will return immediately to his little ones.
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1969, FAMILIA
Wedding in Bihor
At the groom’s parental home
At the place where the big wedding of the bride’s “gathering” (a term I heard in Seghiște) will be held, the bride and groom are eagerly awaited. The wedding guests – and the curious – wait for them in front of the gate and in the yard of the house.
Here, in the yard, according to old customs, a table, basil, and a vessel of water (in old times the water was “blessed”) have been prepared. The “great in-laws” welcome the one who will from now on be their daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law ensures that when the bride and groom enter the house, no one passes between them, so as not to separate them. The bride and groom are sprinkled with water (in many places the guests are also sprinkled) so that they will have good fortune all their lives.
In the yard there is a table covered with a tablecloth sewn at home. The bride and groom circle it three times, and during this time grain is thrown over them, so that they may be fruitful, have abundance, and there be diligence in their home. In the yard there is a chair and on it a jug of water. The groom circles it three times, then the bride kicks the jug to spill the water.
In Luncșoara, after overturning the bucket of water, the bride toasts with a full glass of wine, then, empty, throws it over her head. The guests hurry to catch it. Grain is thrown, then the groom’s parents ask the bride:
— What have you brought us, our daughter-in-law?
— Cheese from sheep and good life between us.
Upon entering the house, the bride tries to step inside first. The groom’s parents warn him to be careful so that the bride does not get ahead of him.
On the way between the two houses of the bride and groom, the guests come in a certain order, established by tradition (which differs from village to village), namely: horsemen (as long as they were still kept), the flag bearer, the lads, the guests with the bride and groom, the inviters, the fiddlers, and the main procession (in some places the fiddlers come right after the flag bearer). Upon entering the house – sometimes – the custom of stepping on the foot is still practiced, which is believed to be a sign of “primacy” in the years to come in the marriage that is beginning.
Groups of villagers – those who were not invited to the wedding – block the road here and there with ropes and chains. The barriers are removed after they are treated with drinks. And while the guests continue the journey, those who blocked the way burn straw. Why, I could not find out.
Once in the house, the hosts, the main speaker, and the godparents make the invitations to start the celebrations, which will last one, two, or even more days, and while some guests take their seats at the table, let us accompany the newlyweds to:
“The covering of the bride” (making the bun)
First let’s stop at a wedding in the villages around Vașcău.
The wedding goes into the garden, under a fruit-bearing tree, where there is a yoke. The bride and groom are placed in the yoke, one on one side, the other on the other, as a sign that from now on they have to pull together.
The tree under which all this takes place is a walnut or cherry, but it must always be young. That’s the old custom, meaning it lasts.
Now the godmother makes the bun, or “pupul.” This is the moment of covering the bride, the moment of her passage from the rank of girls to that of wives. The bun that will be worn by the bride from now on all her life.
The groom throws over the bride’s head a white scarf (in the Vașcău area) or white with red flowers (near Beiuș). The bride takes it and throws it over her young husband’s head. This exchange of scarves takes place three or four times, until in the end the bride allows herself to be covered with the “jolgiu,” as the scarf is called in that area, while the guests sing, to a mournful tune, the following chant:
“O, reproach yourself, reproach,
The maiden’s garb
With the wife’s garb.
The maiden’s garb
Is more modest
But the wife’s garb
Is more enduring.
Do you know what I said
Yesterday, the day before yesterday
Passing by our place?
That you will change
The maiden’s garb
With the wife’s garb.”
The bride cries, her mother cries, her sisters and friends cry. The “good” time when she wore her hair down her back, in two braids tied with ribbons, is gone. The bride cries because she says goodbye forever to her maidenhood, to her red or other colored headscarf of a girl. From now on she will wear only a black kerchief with flowers (usually red) and later, toward old age, even the flowers will disappear, the kerchief remaining entirely black.
Among those who must be present at the “covering of the bride” is the flag bearer, who waves the flag above the two newlyweds throughout the ceremony.
The groom then cuts the branch under which they stood. The women sing to the bride:
“Today you were a little girl
Tomorrow you are a young wife.”
Those present try to kiss the new wife and the groom must be very careful so that no one else gets ahead of him.
The groom’s speaker says: the bride should change her attire. Then, she goes into another room with the groom and two women, the “meselece,” and dresses in the wife’s costume, that is, she wears the bun (“pupul”), while the groom’s parents… The women set the table, spread a tablecloth, put food. They are not older than 40. The groom unties the bride’s loaf and makes her a table in the corner of the house. No one else touches the food. Only the bride and groom eat. If someone else eats from it, they say it won’t go well for them (so I was told). The groom and bride eat. The godparents may also come. The groom puts the loaf in the bride’s arms (from her parents), then she will remain, and he drinks a sweet double plum brandy. All the while they eat, the parents and guests remain silent, so that their mouths will be sweet (meaning they won’t quarrel in life). He asks from the mother-in-law’s hand for a stick with pretzels, a beautiful stick, and from there he takes a pretzel and lowers it. He gives it to the godmother, and in the bride’s hand is placed a small glass of good plum brandy. The bride drinks, then the godmother drinks. After they drink, they kiss (a “smacăgoș”). Then those present drink (the women who made the food).
This is the first wedding, thus the bride does it in her own home, then the meal is served.
“Watering” the bride
In the places where Miron Pompiliu and Bartok Bela roamed for folklore, it is customary that once the covering is done, to proceed to “watering” the bride, meaning she is taken, accompanied by many of those present at the wedding, to the nearest river. Once they reach the water, we witness the following events (based on a recording made in Seghiște in the summer of 1968):
“They go to the water, the bride has a jug and a pretzel. The jug is full of water, the pretzel is tied with wire and braided. That’s how they made it for the priests. In the middle it has a hole, where the towel, ‘felega’ as we call it, is inserted. The bride throws the pretzel into the water. The lads jump after it. If you stand close to the water on the bank, you may be pushed in by others, even if you don’t want to go after the pretzel. After the lad who catches the pretzel, the others chase him. He reaches home and wins the bet – the drink they will share with his mates. The bride comes back with the guests, the ‘hideedea’ says, people cast spells. When she reaches the groom’s house, the bride hits the house pillar with the water jug to break it, saying this way she breaks the evil from their house.”
The lads who take part in this act, which tests in some way courage and manhood, go to the water in the past on Monday, now on Sunday – only from the groom’s house. Even if the wedding was at the bride’s, the departure for “watering” the bride was always from the groom’s house.
The pretzel reaches the hands of the bride and groom. They pull it, one from one side, one from the other. Whoever ends up with the bigger piece is said to be more faithful. Then all the guests happily eat from the pretzel.
Stelian VASILESCU
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1971, CRIȘANA
STRANGE WEDDING
Recently, in the town of Takamatsu, Shikoku Island, a strange wedding was celebrated, which took place in an aquarium. The idea was the bride’s, who said she wanted to know more about the work of her future husband, who works at these aquariums.
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1981, ALMANAHUL FEMEIA
Curiosities
- The largest family in the world is that of the Argentinian Lorenzo Fatschello from the town of Nogoyo. In 1979, when old Fatschello celebrated his 98th birthday, together with his 95-year-old wife Anna, their 5 children (3 sons and 2 daughters), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren came from all over the country to congratulate them – a total of 1,301 people.
- Prince Edward Island belongs to Canada. Although this island is inhabited by 80,000 people and is under the influence of American customs, it has not been contaminated by the American divorce epidemic. The first divorce case, after 400 years of the island’s inhabited existence, happened in 1934, and the respective spouses were expelled as a sign of contempt. The people there are very home-loving and their most common proverb is: “Defend your home as well as your profession.”
- The most births in the world have been by Leonțina Espinosa, aged 55 (in 1981), from Argentina (South America). She married at the age of 14 and first gave birth to triplets, then from age 15 to 55 gave birth every year to one child. This year she was expecting her 45th child. Giving birth for 42 consecutive years, one child each year, is a unique record in the world.
- The most productive family in the world was that of the Russian peasant Fiodor Vasiliev (1816–1872), who lived in the Suiski district. He had 87 children. He married twice. His first wife gave him 69 children, and the second 18 children. The first wife gave birth only 27 times: four times to quadruplets, seven times to triplets, and 17 times to twins. The second wife also gave birth only 8 times: twice to triplets and six times to twins. Thus, at the age of 75, Vasiliev was surrounded by almost all his children: 83 out of 87.
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1981, ALMANAHUL FEMEIA
They were young and they were happy, no one could have said they weren’t happy, until one day, when one of them, he or she, noticed a stain on the ceiling and was surprised at how ugly that stain was, and thought they should call some painters from the cooperative of services, called “Prestarea.” The painters came, bringing first a bucket, then a trowel.
There were four craftsmen in total and they also brought a sack of clay, and a can of oil, and a brush – all of these, of course, on different days – and left them there, in the middle of the house, and after a week they stripped the walls and didn’t come back for another two weeks.
And summer passed, and autumn came, and winter came, and the wardrobes are still covered with newspapers, while in the bathroom the oil has not yet been applied, and no one knows anymore whose idea it was, his or hers, who brought the painters, him or her?
Even the court hesitates to pronounce: who is the guilty one?
His lawyer says she is.
Her lawyer says he is.
VASILE BĂRAN
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1981, ALMANAHUL FEMEIA
The prophetess of spiritual marriages; from the practices and “morality” of the sectarians
The events we will describe here seem incredible. Because for a normal person they are impossible and degrading. And completely absurd. They violate not only basic common sense, but they also strike brutally and recklessly at the foundations of our moral life, trying to caricature and drown in depravity the very basic cell of society – the family.
The promoters of “the only true Christian faith,” as the followers of this small group of dissidents from the Adventist faith consider themselves, which we will discuss below, preach flight from work, from marital obligations and responsibilities, encourage parasitic living, immorality hypocritically masked by the purity of faith, ending in the most miserable and obscure promiscuity. But the bizarre fruits of ignorance, decay, and bigoted credulity stir not only pity and disapproval, but also an uncontrollable burst of laughter…
Winter, frost, bitter wind. In the small room, almost all the members of the group of reformed Adventists called “The Little Remnant,” a not at all symbolic name, have gathered from all over the country. (You will find out who they are.) They are all waiting with bated breath for the new “messages” that the Lord “dictated” to the prophetess Elena Iosub, whose first name is Nuța, in her latest sleep. If it brought them to Piatra Neamț in such weather, it must mean great events are ahead. What their ears heard, however, exceeded all expectations.
First, they were left gaping. “The Lord has commanded us to prove, as divine will, the separation of the believer from the unbeliever,” began the prophetess. They didn’t understand much, most of them not being initiated into the way the one above makes his commands concrete in the “marital” notebooks of the “visionary.” So they waited for what was next: “For the perfection of character – she continued, in a trance – I have decided that if one of the spouses does not accept our faith, then there must be a separation in fact, regardless of what happens to the family, considering as close to us only those who have accepted the reform.” It took their breath away; most had children, wives. But if you want to be saved, you submit, what can you do. Still, just like that, alone in life, without the slightest comfort…
Suddenly, however, their eyes lit up; “Therefore, we will make spiritual marriages, in order to test the power of character and to banish jealousy forever. Each member of ours will be married to another woman, whom the Lord will choose and whose name he will communicate through me. Amen.” Amen, amen, but what do you mean by testing? And why was it that the first to marry was the prophetess herself and a few from her immediate circle, while the others were left to wait in line? You see, however, in a sect like this, murmuring is punished and discipline is discipline. So each left for the home where their wife, or husband, not at all spiritual, was, and who had to be necessarily replaced with something of better sort.
HOW NUȚA BECAME A PROPHETESS
Since reformism was fashionable, a bunch of people came with all kinds of personal interpretations of the precepts of the Adventist faith, being eventually excluded from it. Excluded not by anyone else, but by the Adventists themselves, who do not admit deviations from the “true faith.” Each dissident, however, considers that his interpretations represent “the one and true faith.” This is roughly how the band of the misguided from Piatra Neamț was formed, who gathered among themselves and tried to constitute an independent reformist group.
One thing, however, proved essential: if you want to have influence you must find yourself a prophet or prophetess capable of taking direct contact with the Lord, in order to communicate commands to the faithful. Because only with interpretation of sacred texts you get nowhere.
Strangely, “The Little Remnant” gathered about 50 people from almost the whole country. Their ringleader turned out to be one from Dumbrăveni, Sibiu, Alexandru Szatmári, a man with some schooling, who began to recruit followers personally, traveling everywhere for this purpose. Arriving in Piatra Neamț, he met Cătană Gheorghe, also a reformist, then Elena Iosub, Maricica Diaconu, Gherghina Bocioagă, Ion Baston, and others, whom he rallied. How he set eyes on Nuța is hard to say; maybe he glimpsed in her a sincere naivety combined with an exacerbated fanaticism, or he counted on the vanity that dominated her being from the depths, the fact is he decided to “make” her the prophetess of the forming group.
For the success of such a matter, it’s not enough just to suggest, nor to win that person’s sympathy and loyalty, you must somehow make them believe themselves that they are the divine “chosen one.” And they resorted to one of the cheapest tricks, matching their abilities. They contacted a certain Rodica, from Bucharest, supposedly a fortune teller, and one day went to her with great pomp.
She told them all their “character” (so as to be in the spirit of the doctrine), but when she got to Nuța she was seized by… a shudder, and, looking at her frightened, she said:
“In you there are powers that surpass my understanding. I cannot read for you, you are more powerful than us.”
Then she paid her a visit in Piatra Neamț, but there too she proved “powerless,” since she was facing… a prophetess chosen by the Lord.
One day like this, another like it. Szatmári didn’t let up for a moment, suggesting all kinds of visions and confusing her with fitting texts, until she also agreed that she had “dreamed” something, writing down in a notebook the first “message” from the Lord, which sounded exactly like an “interpretation” of a biblical paragraph previously made by Szatmári.
And, since a “saint,” but especially a “female saint,” is not made every day, Șoni Szatmári kidnapped her from her husband and two children and took her with him around the country to carry to all the groups of dissident reformists “the Lord’s command.”
Behind the scenes of “The Little Remnant”
Of course, over the thousands of kilometers traveled together and the many stops they made, they definitively concretized their “doctrine” and also reached the necessity of more or less spiritual marriages, because a sect member feels “closer” to someone of his own faith, doesn’t he?
In any case, during these long tours, carried out for the realization of “the Lord’s work,” they kept filling the notebook with “messages,” inconsistent and childishly amusing, ultimately asking the other small gatherings of reformists to unite under the leadership of the chiefs of “The Little Remnant.”
One of the first conditions was to recognize the prophetess’s “messages” as of divine origin and, of course, to adhere to their doctrine.
Constanța, Brașov, Târgu Mureș, Bucharest, Timișoara, Ploiești, Bacău, Dumbrăveni… endless roads on which cartloads of money were spent (where did they get so much money from?), mostly traveling by taxi, gatherings, discussions, returns, to force affiliation agreements.
People, also dissident sectarians, listened, asked questions, there were even controversies, sometimes degenerating into altercations… Because the ramblings supported by Szatmári as commands coming, through the sleep of prophetess Nuța, directly from the one above, did not seem at all in the spirit of the “true faith,” indeed not in the spirit of any faith.
On the basis of a closed vision of the world they preached “liberation” from any social obligation or responsibility, life without work, the gathering of believers in parasitic bands, the practice of so-called “spiritual marriages,” which aimed at nothing less than “the regeneration of the world.”
All dominated by a complete confusion of values, by refusal of conscious integration into real society and preparation for “Judgment Day,” a second-rate mysticism, with strong accents of depravity and with the most disastrous effects on those who let themselves be tempted by it.
People had to leave their jobs, families and children, friends and usual concerns, to set out, like the blind, on a “path of salvation” that led only to human decay, crime, and social parasitism. Precepts that had nothing in common with religion, law, or human decency. And which could only arouse public disapproval.
These little groups of reformists, who now and then through their practices come into conflict with the laws of the state, were nevertheless not drawn to such an aberrant doctrine, and the tours for such a “work of the Lord” ended in total failure, the groups firmly refusing to affiliate with “The Little Remnant,” which not only had to remain little, but to vanish entirely.
Moreover, in a community from Budai, Iași county, people, indignant at what they were hearing, accused Szatmári and his prophetess of immorality and dishonesty and invited them to leave their gathering.
From all these tours they did get something; they managed to entice one or two proselytes. Thus, this strange group of reformists was actually spread throughout the country and, to participate in gatherings, they took trains and cars to the place indicated, by “the Lord’s command,” by prophetess Nuța.
Then began the masquerade with the “spiritual” marriages.
At that meeting, mentioned at the beginning, when the “separation of the believer from the unbeliever” and “testing through the performance of spiritual marriages” was decided, the foundations were actually laid for a collective depravity, rather clumsily masked with the “perfection of character” – which was meant to say that between the newly married there was not supposed to “happen” anything or for a child to be born.
Not true, since the two were not bound by the faith to be pure, but were only subjected to a… in the end, rather nebulous and nonsensical “test” as a “theory.” The idea of such marriages did not exclude the possibility that the new wife, spiritual as she was, might still become pregnant. For this reason, the justification was advanced that if from “spiritual unions” (What exactly did they mean by that?!) a child should somehow be born, it was surely the fruit of the Holy Spirit and would ensure the “regeneration of the world.”
More absurd than this it could not be.
Still, this clumsy covering of debauchery with the protective veil of faith was soon to cause a natural scandal and the taking of concrete measures, since the individuals involved began to leave their families and abandon their children, running after “tests” with “spiritual wives.”
The first to marry was the prophetess herself – and we don’t need to tell you whom she took, because you can guess: Alexandru (nicknamed Șoni) Szatmári.
To her sister, Maricica, she “chose,” through a “message from the Lord,” one Pavel Moroșanu, from Buzău. Gheorghe Catană was stuck with Gherghina Bocioagă, Doina Szatmári with Sima Costel…
Yes, yes, you read that right, Doina Szatmári was none other than the legal wife of the very holy brother Șoni, who, being “married by the Lord” to the prophetess, had to have a husband given to her in compensation.
Then… which “believer from unbeliever” had been separated?
Moral decomposition no longer took the precepts into account and discarded them without any difficulty. Szatmári together with Nuța set off again – we were about to say on a honeymoon – across the country, to perform “spiritual marriages.”
Legal marriages? What did they matter anymore?
Children? Even less.
The important thing was… not to have people talking.
If people did talk, the sect’s leadership became intransigent and immediately excluded the incompetent from the clan.
That is what happened with the Zepciuc family, from Suceava, the partners being “crossed” with another family. When the father-in-law came to visit his son, he found his daughter-in-law in bed with another man.
— “Who is this?”
— “My spiritual husband.”
You realize that it didn’t last, and the legal spouses separated.
Still, the distances between them were large, the degrees of “kinship” much too close now. So something had to be done! The prophetess did not think long, sent down a “divine message” and convened the whole group at Șaru Dornei, where her brother, Constantin Roiu, also a reformist, lived.
They left their homes and families for good, and almost 50 people, the entire “Little Remnant,” arrived there.
…only and solely due to the hereditary pathological burden – inherited by the girl from her father.
But the journalist – who is neither prosecutor, nor judge, nor policeman, therefore not obliged to judge according to the law, to seek evidence – can afford to have some personal opinions, intuited from the patient human investigation of this case: it is hard, very hard to believe that parents would not know, would not feel, would not understand, would not find out anything about the tens of thousands of lei and about the heap of jewelry stolen by an 11-year-old child.
That they would not bear responsibility for these misdeeds committed by a minor who cannot yet be held criminally responsible for what she did (and those tens of thousands of lei, of course, have not been returned to the victims, because the parents claim they have nothing from which to repay).
You, our readers, with whom we often consult,
what do you think?
Are or are not the parents of Veronica guilty?
And to what extent?
And how should they have acted so as not to end up giving society such a tragic specimen?
…And when you think that these parents were entrusted with the supervision (and, of course, re-education!) of the child who stole almost 100,000 lei…
SANDA FAUR
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1984, IZVOR
Wedding among the Romanians of Chitighaz
Lucia Borza
In the past, in Chitighaz – as well as in other villages inhabited also by Romanians in Hungary – the most frequent form of marriage was “eloping,” for the well-known reason: the opposition of the parents, opposition based either on material interests, or on some feeling of enmity toward the family to which the girl’s chosen one or the boy’s chosen one belonged.
In the case when the wishes of the young people coincided with those of the family – not very frequent cases – it was said about the young man that “he got married,” about the girl that “she married well,” which meant that the entire wedding ceremony unfolded according to old customs, with the following phases as follows:
sending a “speaker” to the girl’s parents to inform them of the young man’s intention,
asking for the girl’s hand in marriage,
informing the civil status officer of the young couple’s intention to marry,
inviting to the wedding, “with the pălăscari,”
the church wedding,
the wedding feast.
Below we reproduce the unfolding of a “proper” wedding, as described by two informants from Chitighaz.
Ioan Muntean:
“When the lad wanted to ask for the girl’s hand – just as it happened to me – when I asked for Fica, right away I said to an uncle, I sent him as a speaker to ask for the girl. Well then, when he asked, right away they asked what the groom had, how much property he had, money, and such things.
Then if they could come to an agreement, the speaker would ask what the girl’s family wanted, what she had, and back in those days, long ago, they asked for a dowry, and clothes, and such things they asked for in those times.
And if the girl asked for nothing, neither did the young man. Then they made the arrangement, that on such and such a day they would go to the town hall to have it posted on the wall. And after twenty-one days they married in the church back in those days.
Then, two pălăscari accompanied the girl, two the young man, who would go around inviting people to the feast. The young man’s pălăscari went to his relatives, the girl’s to hers, and to those close to them. They were dressed with the pălască, first wreath after the hat, red ones, all over, ten or twelve wreaths they had on the hat.
Then the horses were decorated, with ribbons, we decorated them beautifully, and then we mounted the horses… and then went around the village, and to the farmsteads, but with the pălască. They would say: here we are, we ask you to come to our house on such and such a day for a glass of drink and a bite of food, please come.
Then they would go to another house, and so on. And when the day came, they were ready. When going to the wedding, everyone lined up in order, the bride and the great godfather first, with a pălăscar, then the young man, then the young people, the girls and the lads, and the rest.
Then all the way to the town hall, they married at the town hall, and from there went to the church. Then they came to the young man’s house, and there held the feast. It started on Saturday afternoon, after vespers, until Monday. Then the people drank after dinner, they drank.
And when it was around midnight, one would weave from the head and stretch his hands, saying to the other: hey, we have a pig. It didn’t take long until that one was drunk. Another wove from the legs, so that by the end they were all pigs. One laughed at the other that, well, they were all drunk.
They had lamb meat, mutton, and those better off also slaughtered a pig. Back then there were no cakes, they had leavened bread and pancove (fried doughnuts). There was a bowl heaped with leavened bread, and you would eat until you felt good.
When I was young, the custom wasn’t like it was before. Before, the bride slept at the great godfather’s house the first night, they took her there with the pălăscari, with the great godfather, everyone went there and had a dinner. There at the great godfather’s the bride slept the first night.”
Florica Olar:
If a boy liked a girl, or she liked him, then among his relatives they chose the one who was more humorous, more talkative, and sent him as a speaker.
So he went and said, when he arrived: with a crooked stick he went, that he came, that such and such sent him, that they liked the girl and… Then if they liked him, they said of course. He went home and told them, and they liked it.
Then the groom’s father and mother, and the groom too, went to formally ask for the girl. Then the girl’s father would say she’s all yours, just if you give a dowry, money on the table, another wanted money, another…
The girl received a ciureac, which they called what is now a ring, I don’t know. Back then they called it ciureac. That was as a sign of engagement, now they give rings and necklaces and whatever.
Back then she received this instead of a ring, it was the sign of faith. Then the bride was proud of what a fine ciureac she had received, or how much money she got, or…
Well, then the proper matter was settled. They posted it on the wall, and for three weeks it had to be at the town hall, out on the board. That’s how they said it was posted.
Then the wedding approached. From the bride’s family a boy, close relative of the bride, and from the groom’s family another close relative, these were the two pălăscari, as they called them.
Then they dressed them in fine clothes, and put on their hats four rosettes, the first in the most beautiful patterns, hanging down to their boots, and they had the pălască, or if they didn’t have a pălască, a belt, and a crooked stick, and tied to the belt things like on the hat.
Then with these they went around inviting to the feast.
Those who were better hosts, from higher-up families, were the pălăscari with horses. All the horses were adorned, with ribbons, with rosettes, just like the pălăscari. On the horses’ heads, on both sides, they put rosettes, ribbons, and attached to them beautiful wool fringes, very fine, and thus they would go with the horses to invite to the feast.
When the wedding day came, then again there was commotion, because those who had horses, as I said, the pălăscari who invited with horses, if the groom or the bride was at a homestead and they had to travel farther for them, they would go with the carriages. And the carriages too were all adorned, with ribbons, and God forbid, the whips, the horses, and…
Well then, the groom’s relatives would gather at the groom’s, the bride’s relatives at the bride’s house. Then the groom would send the guda. And then they would go to the bride. And the guda would ask for the bride. Then some old woman would come out and say: well, here she is. Then: we didn’t come for this one, we don’t need her. And so they would bargain there until after a while they would bring out the bride, and then they would put her in the carriage, and go to be married at the church.
And if it was the wedding, while the bride was in the church, those who were not entering danced there in the square near the church, the whole wedding party. If there was some cursed one among them, he would pull the pin from the carriage wheel, so they had to watch out, because if they didn’t pay attention, someone would steal the pin, and when the carriage moved, the wheel would fall off, and they couldn’t go any farther.
Then they would all get in the carriages and go with horns, whistling and shouting all the way to the groom’s house, because there they were expected to bring the bride. And then they were met there with a bowl of wheat held in front of the bride and the groom, and they would throw the wheat over them. When the wheat in the bowl was finished, they would smash the bowl on the ground, others would beat trays, shout, and thus they would welcome the bride into the groom’s house.
There was chicken soup with noodles, later they made dumplings, and then they served stew of lamb, veal, or pork, depending on what was slaughtered. All the chickens, after being taken from the pot, were cut into pieces, placed on trays, and put into the oven to roast so they’d be golden, and that was right after the stew, the food.
Then came pie, whichever the women knew to make. At midnight the bride was danced for money, then she was taken to be covered. They covered her with … made her a wife, put the cap on her head, saying they were going to put her cap on and cover her, and then she returned as a wife – after midnight she was a wife, no longer a bride. And then the celebration continued until the next day, and as long as each could endure.
– When did they go courting?
– Well, in the Christmas fast and in the great fast they weren’t allowed to go. Then there was no dancing either, and it wasn’t allowed to do such things. And in church, they wouldn’t marry them until after the Easter of the dead. That’s how I know it.
– Who was the guda?
– The guda was an old man who knew how to speak a lot and went to ask for the bride when they arrived with the groom at the bride’s house, then the guda was the one who asked for the bride and told them why they had come.
– When did the wedding take place?
– Well, long ago they married on Saturday at the town hall and on Sunday at the church. When they came from the homesteads, and from Botoș, and from the Puszta, they came with the carriages, and then married on Sunday. That’s how it was – before noon at the town hall, and after noon at the church.
– How was the bride dressed?
– When I was a little girl, I remember well, I could have been about five years old, no more, because I was always at my grandmother’s, well, Minerva of Chișolai married Anti. And I can still see how Minerva was: with a gray satin dress, very shiny. Minerva had a gray dress, veil and crown, and so she was the bride.
And Lucreția of Modioroș, also at that time, married in green velvet clothes, the dress was pleated, blouse with belt, and with crown. And I can still see her, because I went with the old woman, with grandma. “Well, let’s go see Lucreția getting married.” Then it was Sunday afternoon, at vespers. And we all went there, as neighbors, to see the bride, and Lucreția had green velvet clothes, and wore a crown on her head. The groom had three meseliouci (attendants), and the bride had three as well. That was a proper wedding feast, as it should be. The groom’s meseliouci wore blue clothes, and the bride’s wore pink clothes. That was after this celebration that had taken place.
– What was the crown made of?
– Of this myrtle.
– Who were the godparents?
– The godparents were, for the groom, the great godfather who had baptized him, for the bride it was the same. If they had kept in touch with the godparents, if not, they chose whoever they wanted. They called the groom’s great godfather “great godfather,” and the bride’s was the husband of the great godmother. I don’t know why they called them that. The great godmother was the wife of the great godfather.
She carried the candles, and had two meters of cloth, depending on what she could afford. If the great godmother was wealthy, she would show off that her cloth was more beautiful… Then she would wind that cloth around the candles, which were tied with ribbons, the cloth spun around the candles in a circle, and then carried them on her arm behind… At the church they gave one candle to the groom and one to the bride, and that cloth was placed on their back, with two buttons or fasteners, to hold it there. And that’s how they were married.
– And the groom, how was he dressed?
– Long ago, in black clothes.
– What were those feathers of the in-laws?
– Feast feathers. Feast feathers. They were feast feathers then. What were they made of? Boxwood like this. Then someone would go and bring a basket of those leaves, and those were the feast feathers. Then they would sell them.
When the feast guests entered, someone stood there with the basket of those feathers, selling them for ten fileri, or however much, selling a little sprig, and that money was collected for the bride. And then whoever was at the feast could be recognized by having the feast feather, well.
– What did they eat with the stew?
– Cucumbers. Pickles.
– What pies did they make?
– Leavened ones, pancove (fried doughnuts), and flatbreads. Those flatbreads were made, you see how they’re shaped like stars, with sologais, and covered in crystal sugar, and there were also the…
– What did they drink at the feast?
– Wine, brandy. That’s how it was then. There was no cola. And sour water. The soldier would come with the carriage and bring sour water.
– When she married, what did the bride receive from her parents?
– Long ago there was a chest, what they now call a tulip chest. Long ago. Then it came to be the bride’s. In it she had bed linens, her clothes placed inside, and she received a duvet and two sleeping pillows. And it was custom to have six pillows, for sitting, made with bottoms.
Those who were better off, wealthier, received nine pillows, not six. Well. That was the pride of the girl, they would say:
“Do you know how many pillows they gave her? They reach the attic!”
– And all this when was it taken to the groom’s house?
– After they married. Once they were married, then they went after the bride’s clothes.
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1986, ALMANAHUL FEMEIA
FROM THE MARRIAGE CUSTOMS OF PEOPLES
Among the Mayan Indians, the first-born boy enjoys special attention from the family: he is the principal heir and all the other children owe him obedience and respect, even after they become adults.
The divorce ceremony in the Junbe tribe (West Africa) is rather strange: when the two spouses decide to separate, they go about for a time dressed in bright red. Thus the community becomes aware of their intention. Then, on a rainy day, the husband goes outside with his wife and, under the downpour, pours countless buckets of water over her. In this way, the “act” of dissolving the marriage is sealed.
Nomads in India, on a set date each year, organize a horse race in which only unmarried young men participate. The winners, in order of arrival, have the right to choose their wives from among the unmarried girls.
Young Papuans from Borneo, when they wish to marry, send the girl two flower buds. If she accepts to be his wife, she puts them in water and, in a day or two, returns them in bloom. If not, she throws them away, sending instead two dry sticks.
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1989, CUVÂNTUL NOU
Customs and traditions – The wedding in Voinești (II)
Preparations began well in advance and were numerous.
For example, the wine was brought a few weeks beforehand, from the Focșani or Buzău regions. Already by Wednesday, two fir trees were placed at the gateposts of the groom, the bride, and the godfather.
The bread — large, 3–4 kg — was baked as early as Thursday and kept in cellars, in the cool, so it wouldn’t dry out. The cozonaci (sweet breads) were made on Friday, and also then, around noon, the strong lads on horseback — with the flask of brandy — would set off to invite the entire village to the wedding.
Saturday, after the groom was shaved, in the middle of the yard, around 9 a.m., the procession set out toward the bride, led by a vornic (master of ceremonies), then the fiddlers, after them the groom flanked by the godfathers.
Only close relatives from both sides entered the bride’s house, the rest of the guests remained outside in the yard, dancing, and were treated with drinks and cozonac by the father of the bride.
After two or three hours, they left for the house of the bride’s father, where the wedding party continued until midnight.
The next day, Sunday, around 9 a.m., without a set meal, just with drinks and cozonaci, the guests gathered again at the bride’s father’s house, where they danced and sang, then went in carts — the first being that of the groom — to ask for the bride.
In the yard, the young men stood on horseback, facing the house. The one who asked for the bride was called the colăcer. To his right, on horseback, was the groom.
During the asking for the bride, girls dressed as old women were brought out, whom the colăcer refused, until the real girl — the bride — came, to whom the girls sang as she left her parental home.
At the gate, the bride’s parents, sitting on chairs, were kissed by the bride and groom in thanks. Then they left with the carts.
The bride rode in the godfather’s cart, sitting with the godmother on a seat in the back. The groom went alongside, on horseback. The whole procession went to the town hall.
Then came the horsemen’s race: the first received an expensive kerchief, and the last — a bundle of horseshoes, meaning he had gathered all the shoes from those ahead of him.
At the groom’s house, the great feast was laid out, where the bride had the gimbir placed on her head, as a sign that she was now a wife.
On Sunday night, the bride did not sleep with the groom, but with the godparents.
On the second night, from Monday to Tuesday, the newlyweds slept together, and on Tuesday morning, the young people, with the fiddlers after them, came to the window singing them a beautiful song called “The Dawns.”
Mihai ȘTEFAN
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1992, RENAȘTEREA
Marriage – this strange occupation…
There are in Ethiopia some tribes that observe the following traditional custom: if a girl manages to jump over the fence surrounding a young man’s hut, he is obliged to marry her.
Whoever is afraid of marriage must guard his fences well…
Among the Eskimos near the Mackenzie River, two people who have the same name can marry… even if they are strangers.
Since among these Eskimos names have no gender, so they do not differ between sexes, it often happens that identical names between a man and a woman become an obstacle to their marriage.
There are cited cases where two young people, after having been married for many years, discovering that one of their numerous names was identical, were forced to separate.
I suspect this was the real reason…
In many primitive tribes, but also among some Asian peoples, the bride and groom begin marriage with a transition ritual.
The newlyweds are not allowed to speak for several days, as if they were quarreling.
In Korea, for example, the bride is not allowed to utter a single word on the wedding day.
A custom which, let’s admit, would be very welcome in our own country.
In the Bismarck Archipelago, a basic condition for a girl to be able to marry is to have… full curves.
Girls of marriageable age are locked up and overfed for a year, sometimes even more, before marriage, in order to become as fat as possible.
Notice to those in our country with this handicap!
GEORGE TERZIU
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1993, TINERETUL LIBER
He killed his wife with a broomstick handle and then threw her into a well
Why Alexandru Traian married in 1991 the woman who was to become his victim, no one understands! Because, immediately after the wedding, they both began to drink, and conflicts appeared. Especially according to Alexandru Traian, who had previously been convicted twice for bodily harm. This time, the quarrels were fiercer than ever before. The husband accused his wife of selling things from the house to get alcohol.
As punishment, he took a broom handle and beat her all over her body. Satisfied that he had “applied the law,” he went to bed and immediately fell asleep. Around 5 in the morning, somewhat more “awake,” he looked for his wife. He found her in the yard, on her backside, lifeless. Frightened, he dragged her to the back of the garden and threw her into an abandoned well. After 3 days, when putrefaction again carried the “smell” of the corpse up to the obvious well, he threw a lot of salt and grass on top to mask the smell. Moreover, a medical statement claimed, oddly enough, that the multiple traumas were due to hitting the edges of the well.
Unfortunately, the antecedents and evidence demonstrated without doubt to anyone that the truth was otherwise. As a result, Alexandru Traian received a sentence of 20 years in prison. Not even an appeal to the Supreme Court of Justice changed anything from the decision of the Arad Tribunal.
But this time, Maria would no longer be able to come every month – as she did for the first two convictions – to bring him packages of food and words of encouragement…
GHEORGHE CRIȘAN
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1994, The Youth and Family Life Magazine
Column SHE and HE
LOVE AT… “FIRST SIGHT”
In ’88 I met HER. It was a love… “at first sight.” After only three hours, I could have said that we had known each other for… months. So, after four months and 15 days, I already saw myself married to her, because, well, we loved each other extremely much! She worked at the PHOTO STUDIO: weddings, christenings, naming ceremonies, etc., fun, romance, until, on top of everything, into my house came a “friend” whom I welcomed. Again, living it up, feasts, fun, because my “good childhood friend” had come to visit me. We kept it up for two days, until I realized that, surprise, my wife and the new arrival had fallen madly in love with each other.
Well, now what to do, Ionică, to separate the two of them? But how? I decided to tell my friend directly to leave our house. But then, miracle, my sister-in-law’s brother intervened, saying that the “friend” had borrowed some money from them and would not leave until he repaid it. After many attempts on my part to separate the two, one day, my dear wife grabbed a knife and snarled in my face that, if I didn’t leave, she would turn me into jelly.
I stayed two more days in the town of H., to take care of some small matters, but those days were hell for me. Now, I had to watch the two of them lying in bed and kissing, while I was like a useless bale of straw, thrown into a corner of the room.
When I was about to leave, on the day of the separation, as I was about to say goodbye, I saw two drops of tears appear in my wife’s eyes. Why was she crying? Hm! I truly didn’t understand anymore…
Thus three years have passed since then and even today I do not know why we had to part without a serious reason. Just because a “friend” appeared in her life?
Now, what can I say? I’m glad there are still people like you in this world, who help the homeless, the wrecks carried by the wind, whom you try to bring to shore, like me, so I can find my peace.
God help us!
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1994, The Youth and Family Life Magazine
Column SHE and HE
WILL I SEE MYSELF AS A BRIDE?
On my birthday, a year ago, I met Cornel. He was a gentle and quiet boy. He never talked about himself. Our mothers were work colleagues. He came to my place every day, and day by day, one day came when we kissed unexpectedly, feeling that I loved him, we made love together. I was 18 years old, I had been a virgin, he appreciated this and said that we would never part from now on.
One of those happy days, however, I learned news that felt like the sky was falling on my head: I found out that he had been married and that now he was not divorced. On the afternoon I learned the news, Cornel told me that he – true, he wasn’t really married for real but had been forced, and out of… interest. “You know what to do: to believe him, to make him my husband by forgiving him for the sin of having stolen my youth and virginity, he wasn’t really married.” Still, I loved him. I had an abortion so that we would not separate. At night, lying down, I would tell him in my mind the words: “I don’t want you anymore, Cornel. Leave me!”
Then came quarrels between me and my mother, who told me:
“You, girl, this boy is married. What are you waiting for from him? What if he goes back to HER, his wife?”
I cried even more hearing my mother’s words. On top of that, Cornel’s sister came to my mother and told her that he had beaten his former wife, that if his wife wanted to see him in town, with Cornel, who was still her husband, she would expose me, because they had not yet filed for divorce.
And so, I listened and listened, and cried my heart out. But, after all passed and the snow settled, Cornel moved in with me, staying together for a year. That year everything was fine. I was happy! He told me the “story” with his former wife, how he met her at the bus depot. Then she took him home to her parents. She often sought him out. And the parents, seeing them always together, said: “Let’s have a wedding.” And so he ended up married, at the insistence of the parents. Then they stayed together for about a year and something. But they didn’t get along and he made mistakes. He was given a court date on the verge of divorce, at which he was supposed to appear as well. But Cornel’s mother told me not to go to court. And I didn’t go. That’s how he became free.
After a while, I told Cornel:
— Let’s get married, let’s have a wedding too… I want to be a bride at least once in my life.
But he was silent. He said neither yes nor no. Then I became pregnant again. And he had to go to Germany. Before leaving, he told me he would not return to me, and I had another abortion. Unfortunately, he left for Germany and regretted letting me have the abortion, but now it was too late.
In the meantime, his brother-in-law filled my head with all sorts of nonsense about Cornel and his former wife. I was very upset with everything I heard and kept arguing with him. I saw his former wife, in my mind, everywhere, every time we made love, imagining that he desired her, not me. So jealousy gnawed at me terribly, I no longer knew why. When I spoke to him about her, he became furious, raised his voice and asked me to be quiet, telling me that he had never loved her, that he had only loved me.
Now, I don’t know what to do? I feel that he no longer loves me. He doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t love me, but he doesn’t love me either.
Still, the thought of his former wife does not leave me alone. Wherever I go, I find her shadow and name, as if I were not accepted by his family, as if they did not want me the way they wanted his former wife.
Then, I sometimes think like this: is it worth having a child? I have already had two abortions. I will destroy myself. Is it worth destroying myself for him? Will Cornel return to the one he separated from? Why does he not accept marriage with me? Why doesn’t he want a wedding, for me to be, once, a bride? Why, still, does he look elsewhere, does he want a child? So that I don’t leave him? Then, why do people around me talk to me about HER, as if I didn’t exist?
With respect, Angelica
Psychologist’s Answer —
Let’s say that the first marriage was accidental (although there are doubts about this idea), but it is not acceptable to give birth to a child without being married.
From the young man, you should have learned that he had been married before.
We see this intimate relationship of yours clouded. It seems you gave in too easily to a young man you hardly knew at all. His violence toward his former wife, toward his wife’s uncle, is as much to his disadvantage as the uncertainty and postponement of your marriage.
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1994, SĂLAJUL ORIZONT
STRANGE MARRIAGE
Linda Baker, 40 years old, from Los Angeles, married… herself, in the presence of over 75 guests at the ceremony!
In front of the visibly emotional audience, the bride took the vow of fidelity and steadfastness.
Over 100 young girls from the USA declared that they would follow her example.
Lord, God, just let ours not get infected with this too!
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1996, FEMEIA MODERNĂ
LATE DESPERATION
In the women’s penitentiary, she, Iordana Ionescu, from Zimnicea, is serving her sentence. Here she will remain, in total, 17 years, and this thought gnaws at her like a hidden, sleepless worm. Again and again, she replays in her mind the unfolding of the crime committed and, each time, she shudders at the sin.
She worked at a textile factory in town, and sometimes, in the evenings, she no longer went to the neighboring village, where, full of fear, her mother awaited her. She stayed in Zimnicea with a friend and even with a man now and then. When she realized she was pregnant, Iordana was frightened. The pregnancy was in its fifth month, and the baby in her womb was moving. That’s how Ionuț Ionescu was born, a 3,000-gram baby boy.
Then, when the little one was not yet a year old, Iordana found herself a new lover. A young man just released from the army, who comforted her in his small apartment. As is known, however, a small child has his own problems: he wakes up at night, cries, gets sick. After less than a week of cohabitation, the man got tired and the next day told Iordana to leave, child and all.
She let him doze off. Then, at dawn, she took the child wrapped in diapers and set off like that toward the factory. She went around the cement fence and, somewhere where there was a crack in the wall, she laid the baby down. Then, she gently pushed him with her foot over the frozen snow. Nothing turned her back, neither the child’s screams, nor his small cry, nor the fear that a large, fierce dog was heading that way. She stayed at the gate and, at 6:30, entered without blinking and without fear.
She remembers that, around 8 o’clock, she even made her way toward the fence with the crack. From a distance she no longer heard his crying, but she knew that snow had already covered the child. A few patches of the blue diaper protruded from under the white snow, like a painful call.
SMARANDA SBURLAN
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2004, LIBERTATEA
A Frenchwoman married a dead man
She proved that her boyfriend wanted to propose before his death.
Christelle Demichel, aged 35, married on Tuesday to Eric, a former police officer killed in a road accident in September 2002. The strange ceremony was made possible thanks to a 1959 law, which allows marriage to a deceased person if the applicant can prove that this was the deceased’s wish.
(Călin Stroilă)
Tuesday at noon, at the Nice City Hall, a civil wedding unique in the world took place. The bride, Christelle Demichel, was dressed entirely in black. In place of the groom, the woman presented a decree signed by the President of France, Jacques Chirac, which allowed the marriage to a deceased person.
The “groom,” a former police officer identified only as Eric, died in September 2002 after being hit on a highway by a car.
“I know many consider such a ceremony shocking, but I love Eric just as much, even though almost a year and a half has passed since his death,” Christelle said in an interview given after the wedding to the LCI television station.
A 1959 LAW MAKES SUCH A MARRIAGE POSSIBLE
This unusual marriage was possible thanks to a 1959 law. At that time, following the collapse of a dam built on a mountain river, 420 workers, all men, lost their lives. The French government allowed the already planned marriages between some of the victims and their girlfriends to be concluded. The decision was made to allow the “widows” to benefit from the survivors’ rights of the deceased.
PRESIDENT CHIRAC AUTHORIZED THE MARRIAGE
The only person legally empowered to allow such a marriage is the President of France.
“I wrote to Mr. Chirac a letter asking him to agree to this ceremony. Eric and I wanted to marry at the beginning of 2003, everyone knew this. We had already started making preparations,” Christelle explained.
Just 30 minutes after the wedding, the Nice authorities issued the woman a document proving that she was a widow.
“I didn’t do it for the survivor’s rights. I will donate my husband’s survivor’s pension. The only motivation was love,” the bride, now a widow, also declared.
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2004, ZIARUL DE IAȘI
Pardailan’s prison wedding
A Gypsy woman from Ciurea gave herself the most beautiful gift for March 8th. She married the prisoner of her life. Because Pardailan, the man destined for her, is serving a sentence for fraud in prison. “That’s what the woman wanted,” said Pardailan, the groom whose gala outfit was the green prison uniform. The wedding took place in the Penitentiary’s festivities hall. The godparents and witnesses were two non-commissioned officers. The treats that end such a ceremony fit into a plastic bag. Wine and țuică were replaced with juices, first checked by the Penitentiary staff.
The newlyweds felt happy for only half an hour. That was all they were allowed to be together. The wedding night is postponed until 11 months later, when the groom will finish his sentence.
Groom in prisoner’s suit
The unusual marriage began yesterday, at 12 o’clock. “Pardailan, dress nicely, your bride is about to arrive,” urged a prisoner who was fidgeting during the artistic program organized by the Penitentiary on the occasion of March 8th. At exactly noon, the groom appeared in the festivities hall. He had put on a red shirt that contrasted strongly with the khaki jacket found everywhere in the prison cells. “I liked red,” he explained why he refused to wear a white shirt. He stood at attention in front of the Civil Status officer. Next to him was only his brother, who was also convicted. In a few minutes, the bride appeared.
The Penitentiary’s NCOs are full of godchildren in stripes
The young woman was dressed in the traditional skirts of Gypsy women. Her hair was braided into two plaits that hung in front. In the braids she had pinned two plastic flowers that had two colored bottles in the middle. She adopted a virginal air, even though at home six children made with Pardailan over time were waiting for her. She went to the right of the man and said “yes” when asked if she wanted to marry Pardailan Munteanu. After being declared husband and wife, the two were invited to kiss. “Come on, you’re not in the visiting room where you’re not allowed to touch each other,” a non-commissioned officer in the hall told them.
The witnesses to the wedding were two non-commissioned officers. “We have more godchildren in the Penitentiary. When a wedding like this takes place, the witnesses are those who are on shift,” said the NCO who had just acquired another pair of godchildren from Ciurea.
PHOTO 11
After the wedding, a plastic bag was opened from which two bottles of juice were taken out. These were the “wine” and “țuică” that moistened the moment. “Alcoholic drinks are not allowed,” explained an NCO after making sure there was no liquor in the bottles. The two newlyweds were allowed to spend another half an hour together. “It’s like a regular visit to the Penitentiary,” a guard told them. The bride and groom and their small party fit around a table for four. They began to sing a mangled “Happy Birthday” with Gypsy accents, fanning themselves with the fresh marriage certificate.
Nicolae Manoliu
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2007, FOAIA ROMÂNEASCĂ
Marriage… limited
A controversial proposal from Bavaria
A politician from Bavaria, Gabrielle Pauli, made a rather unusual proposal: the introduction of marriages with a limited duration, of only seven years.
Pauli is part of the Bavarian branch of the Christian Democratic Union (CDU), the center-right party that propelled Angela Merkel to the position of German Chancellor.
The 50-year-old politician, already divorced twice, claims that by limiting the duration of marriage, couples would no longer have to officially divorce. Even if the proposal is considered strange and is contested, it comes from a region where Catholic values are still strongly respected.
The idea was launched just a few days before the election of a successor to the leadership of the party, in the context of the withdrawal of Edmund Stoiber – Prime Minister of Bavaria – a withdrawal determined precisely by the accusations made by Pauli.
M.S.
PHOTO 12
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2008, JURNALUL NAȚIONAL
The Marriage of Nicu Ceaușescu
Recently, the book “To Be or to Have” (Paco Publishing House, Bucharest), written by Col. (r) Adrian Eugen Cristea, former deputy chief of the Ceaușescus’ guard, was published. We reproduce below the fragment about Nicu Ceaușescu’s wedding to Poliana Cristescu, as seen by one of its few witnesses. The subtitles belong to the editorial office.
Col. (r) Adrian Eugen Cristea
Nicu was turning 30 years old and was still unmarried. He was the first secretary of the Central Committee of the Union of Communist Youth and an important member of the party leadership. He had accepted these positions and, consequently, had to take into account other requirements as well. Among these was marriage (…)
FINDING THE BRIDE. His mother would not give up and had already found him a bride. The future wife. But she hadn’t told him anything yet. Everything was kept in great secrecy. Not even the future bride knew anything. His mother had found her in Târgoviște, during an official visit. The one she had her eye on was working with the pioneers in the county. From the first checks, everything matched the purpose: pleasant appearance, young, a university graduate, without complications, and very smart. She moved her to Bucharest, where she appointed her directly as secretary of the Central Committee of the Union of Communist Youth, under Nicu’s authority. Only later did the two find out what was being planned. The girl was also provided with a house, a car, and honors. From then on, she became a permanent guest of Elena Ceaușescu, in the morning, around 10:00, for coffee, until the girl no longer knew what to make of all this attention showered upon her. (…)
WITHOUT MUSICIANS. When and under what circumstances the decision was made for Nicu and Poliana to formalize their marriage is not known. What is certain is that such a decision was taken based on their agreement. And that the main role was played by Elena Ceaușescu (…) The marriage ceremony was set to take place at Nicu’s residence, near the White Church. I was called by the head of the state security, who informed me about the upcoming event. The goal was for me to take the necessary protection measures in the area. We expected guests to arrive, but those in the protection system had not received their names. Everything was more of an unjustified shroud of secrecy.
The mayor of Bucharest arrived, who, in his capacity, had to officiate the marriage. Present were Emil Bobu, a member of the party leadership, and Tudor Postelnicu, Minister of Security, probably both as witnesses. In the house were Nicu and Poliana. A small car arrived from the party’s supply sector with a waiter. A few small cardboard boxes with ladyfingers and champagne were quickly unloaded.
THE MOTHER OF THE GROOM. The last main figure to arrive before the start of the marriage ceremony was Elena Ceaușescu. Alone, without her husband. Sober, with a slight perceptible smile, intended to be noticed as a sign of her good mood. It was the protocol smile, learned at various receptions, where all participants excel at displaying such courtesies. And if among them there are important representatives, as in our case, it must be very clear that her presence signifies doing them, the guests, a favor, with a nuance of acceptance. What an honor to be among those accepted by the First Lady of the country! (…)
THE GROOM. The groom, Nicu, was irritable, like many grooms overwhelmed by all the problems caused by a wedding. In this respect, Nicu had done nothing. He hadn’t even cared whether they would have at least a glass of champagne for the guests. As in all other cases, he knew there were others, paid, to think and organize everything necessary. The mayor, noticing that Elena Ceaușescu had exhausted her smiles, began officiating the marriage. But barely a few dozen seconds had passed before Nicu interrupted him. He asked for the document to sign it. A gesture also made by Poliana. Done! The marriage was over. Congratulations, smiles prompted more by the rude intervention that stopped the unfolding of an official activity which, for most people, is unique in life. Nicu seemed to have remembered right then that he should not have gotten married, or that he had been forced into it by his family. Nothing was said about Poliana’s family, because no one had taken the trouble to meet them. But Nicu’s annoyance seemed more like something he wanted others to notice. His intervention was accompanied by a few words that I do not wish to repeat. Hearing them, those present were placed in a situation from which, at that moment, they did not know how to escape. Only from the mind of a neighborhood dandy, but with a downtown address, could emerge such bravado and vulgarity that were in total disagreement with his age and the diplomas he held. (…)
MEAL WITH THE FATHER OF THE GROOM. The clock showed 1:00 p.m., by which time Nicolae Ceaușescu had arrived home from work. Elena Ceaușescu said goodbye to those present and left hurriedly so that her husband would not have to wait. In fact, this was not the main reason. Time had to be eliminated in which those present might engage in discussions, including additional explanations that Nicu might have given as a result of his prevailing annoyance. The others also said their goodbyes and left in great haste. The waiter also left. Nicu and Poliana got into the car and drove off. Also in a hurry, so that Nicolae and Elena Ceaușescu would not have to wait at their residence.
Here, a table was set, as usual, for the family of a president of a country with a communist political regime. And I do not make this remark out of malice, but to underline a reality. Because all services were organized at the request of the president’s family and belonged to the state, and the expenses were borne by the state. And all this took place permanently. To this organized meal was added something to give it a more special aspect. Two extra seats and more flowers, a cake, and whatever else, according to the mother’s instructions. Because it was a great day. (…) I don’t even know if there was any music. Probably tapes. Better in complete silence, which emphasized an apparent harmony on a petty background. An event was taking place. Which is called a wedding. Nicolae Ceaușescu did not trust this marriage. It is a supposition. He knew that this marriage, which would be known to all the top leaders of the party, was the act representing the consolidation of Nicu’s status as a political figure.
THE YOUNG FAMILY. After just over two hours, the meal ended. (…) The wedding was over. Nicu took his wife and they went home. From that moment on, the feelings Poliana had hoped for were never felt again. They separated. Each in their own room. Then they went about their personal business. Relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances had heard that this marriage had taken place. What some had wanted and what came out! From the very first day of marriage, each was thinking how to escape from the hell they had entered. Nicu went about his life, night after night, with his gang and girlfriends. (…)
PHOTO 13
THE GANG. Meanwhile, Nicu remembered that he had not explained to his friends his attitude toward Poliana. He told them very clearly that he did not like her legs. That they were thin. All those who heard this stood still for a moment. Now that’s an eye for detail, since it took him such a short time, only a year, compared to others, who realize after decades. So Nicu had not changed his criteria for judging his partners. He was consistent! But despite the annoyance that fate had brought upon him, Nicu would take Poliana and visit the family of Viorel Păunescu. (…) Elena Ceaușescu invited her to her office, because she realized that Poliana’s entire situation was due to her. The purpose of these invitations was to give her hope that the troubles would pass and that everything would be fine once Nicu returned to feelings that, for well-thought-out reasons, no one could explain and which he had never actually had. (…) After an unacceptably long wait, around 1985, the mother-in-law, probably influenced by her son Nicu, but also by the rather awkward situation in which her daughter-in-law, Poliana, found herself, decided to move her to another residence. This did not change Elena Ceaușescu’s habit of continuing to invite Poliana to her office for the 10 o’clock coffee.
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2009, ADEVĂRUL HARGHITA
Divorces contribute to global warming
Divorces have a major negative impact on the planet, because they lead to an increase in the number of single people and, implicitly, to greater resource consumption, according to an Australian senator, Reuters reports.
Senator Steve Fielding (photo) stated in a parliamentary session held in Canberra, the capital of Australia, that divorce contributes to global warming.
When a couple breaks up, the new singles need more living space, more electricity, and more running water. All these elements cause an increase in carbon dioxide emissions, the Australian senator explained. “We already know the social problems that arise from a divorce, but as of today, we also know its impact on the environment,” said Steve Fielding.
Due to the waste of resources, it would be better for the planet if people remained married, the Australian politician concluded.
Steve Fielding is the leader of the independent Family First party, grew up in a family with 16 children, and has been married for 22 years.